For relationship and marriage to succeed, partners must effectively communicate their feelings and thoughts: they should never work under assumption.
One of the factors that affect relationship and marriage is poor communication. Verbal and non-verbal communication are the basic types of communication that take place in a relationship and marriage.
Verbal communication requires the partners to express their feelings and thoughts by talking to each other while non-verbal communication requires the use of signs, facial or body expressions to communicate feelings.
For partners to understand each other, they must effectively communicate their feelings and thoughts to each other using all channels of communication where necessary. Poor communication has broken up many relationships and led to many marriages to face divorce.
Never ‘assume’ in a relationship or marriage. Things like, “I thought he/she knew; he/she was supposed to know; I felt you will not like it; I thought you have eaten; I thought you will like it; I never wanted to do it and so on destroy relationship and marriage.
Never assume that your partner was supposed to know what you never told them or taught them. In situations where such a person already knew that but failed to do it, you can call the person to order by verbally and non-verbally expressing your feelings of dislike.
Do not assume that your husband has eaten. You should ask him. Do not assume that your wife don’t like you to buy clothes for her. Ask her if she likes you to be buying clothes for her.
Some women/men may not want their men/women to be asking them the things they like or dislike which is very wrong. How can someone please you or make you extremely happy if they don’t know your likes and dislikes?
That is why it is very important to always communicate effectively in relationship and marriage if they must succeed and bring the desired happiness.
Many partners are not too good at understanding non-verbal communication only in relationship and marriage, that is why verbal communication is the best form of expressing feelings and thoughts since non-verbal communication can be misunderstood.
If your husband or wife does not give your satisfactory sex, don’t be quiet and assume he/she is supposed to know you were not satisfied. Tell him or her how you feel and how you prefer it to be done. If it is something that requires medical attention, the both of you can seek help together.
If your partner does anything you don’t like, don’t pretend to him or her by acting as if you are happy. Tell him/her about it. Even if they will not change, let them know that such does not make you happy. At least they should bear that in mind.
If you need anything from your partner and you don’t tell them, they will never know. So always express your feelings and thoughts verbally. When both verbal and non-verbal communication are used to express feelings and thoughts, the message is more powerful.
By Terfa Naswem,
Relationship, Marriage and Family Counselor