Seriously what will you do if after marriage you discover that your husband cheats on you?
It is the sincere desire of every woman to marry a man who will give her all the love that she wants by also being faithful to her.
She wants to be very proud of her man all the times and make other women feel jealous.
But when she becomes jealous of other women because of how their men treat them, her happiness in the marriage will begin to drift away.
A lot of things are being hidden during courtship and if both partners are not careful and very watchful, they may end up marrying each other only to discover in the marriage that they are not compatible because of certain irreconcilable differences which in many cases lead to serious marital conflicts while in some cases lead to divorce.
A woman once told me in Ebonyi State, Nigeria during my National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) that she caught her husband red-handed sleeping with one of his students and that she wanted to divorce him. She asked me what will be the best thing to do.
The reason she met me was that I started my counseling as a Corper when I became a Peer Educator Trainer (PET) at Technical Secondary school, Oso Edda, Afikpo South, Ebonyi State, Nigeria. She came to me to get answers. She asked me what I thought she should do.
I asked her if she really loved her husband and she agreed.
I asked her if her husband was a caring person, she agreed.
I asked her if her husband has ever slapped or fought her and she said no.
I asked her if her husband was taking good care of her two children and she agreed.
She told me that apart from cheating on her, her husband was good in other aspects.
I told her that I don’t support cheating in relationship or marriage, but it is extremely difficult to find a man who does not cheat on his wife.
There are some husbands who are faithful to their wives because they made enormous sacrifices for it to work which most men have refused to make.
I asked her that if she divorces her husband, what guarantee does she has that she will find a man that will even marry her?
I asked her that if she divorces her husband and marries another man, what if she still discovers that the man cheats as well? Will she divorce him and marry another man?
I also asked her that if she divorces her husband and does not find another man to marry, can she remain like that without having s3x with any man till she later finds a man to remarry or till she dies?
The woman could not say anything.
She looked at me and started crying.
I advised her to stay in her marriage and should not make the mistake of leaving her husband because she might not find what she is looking for.
It is easier to break up with someone in a relationship than to divorce the person in marriage. Most people are still in marriage over issues that they would have broken up if it were in a relationship.
Women when a man is dating you, make sure you are satisfied with his conduct before you marry him.
If you know your man cheats on you while in a relationship with you, what makes you think he will stop when he marries you?
If you know your man cheats on you in a relationship and you know you can’t tolerate such in marriage, then do not pretend about it and end the relationship.
Once you agree to marry such a person, be ready to tolerate his unfaithfulness in marriage.
But if he pretends to be faithful and after marriage, you realize he is not, you will be so disappointed and heartbroken but do not let that bring you down.
Make sure you make healthy decisions when things turn out this way.
Cheating on a woman is common with men in marriage.
Women are more faithful in marriage than men.
That is why if a woman is a prostitute and she gets married, even if she can’t stop it, she will reduce the rate at which she does it.
If a woman catches her husband cheating on her, she is free to do whatever pleases her but she should be careful not to take an action that she will live to regret in the rest of the days of her life.
I am appealing to men to make whatever sacrifices required to be faithful to their wives and give them all the love that they want so that they will find true happiness in marriage.
By Terfa Naswem