As we journey in life, some of us have been privileged to be friends, family or acquaintances with people of authority. This, for some people, is a bragging right and there is nothing wrong with it.
That’s when you hear ‘I know this person, he is my uncle’s sisters fathers friend” or ‘She is my mum’.
It is totally okay, after all, president na person pikin.
However, it becomes rather disturbing when you think you can drag every tom, dick and nonsense into this access.
You see, these people that you brag about have worked their heart out, sweating blood, making ends meet, making sure that their brand is well represented out there, they have paid the price for stages they have conquered and are paying the price for stages yet attained.
It will be totally unfair to misrepresent them or wear the hat of entitlement.
I will explain.
This covers all areas of life.
You are the connector.
The authority is the connect.
Your friend is the receiver.
When the receiver approaches you for something, usually something they need.
Out of excitement, you jump and say ‘I know the person who can do this’ or ‘I know how I can get you this person.
If I talk with am sef, e go do am for free’
The statement above is the abuse of access.
That is totally wrong.
These connect have their struggles, pain, challenges and just because they don’t share it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. So you meet your connect and the person says no and then you become furious.
That’s not a good approach.
Instead, what you should do is to tell the receiver that you will do your best to reach your access.
Let them know he/she charges a price for the services he/she will render.
However, you will discuss with them and see what can be done.
That way, you have already conditioned the person’s mind that though you may even be sharing the same bed with this person but you value the person’s time and connection to you.
So even if you discuss with your connect on delivering the service for free, that between both of you and the receiver will value it even better.
As long as you are not the one rendering the service or working your ass out, don’t EVER deliver a promise on getting someone for free for a service that’s to be paid for.
You can only influence but the decision is not yours to make and you can’t even shove it down their throat either.
And to you, the connect.
The world will never understand you.
When you say no to these things, they see you as selfish and ungrateful.
But I want you to know that your time is more valuable than whatever is being offered.
Sadly, some of these problems come from family and friends.
‘Is it not just to post?’
‘How much is a domain name that you are charging this much?’
‘100k ad and 1M ad is the same process’
‘This simple style is what you are charging me for?’
‘You sell fabrics na. Use one and sew for me at least let me gain something from you’
I guess you have heard much more.
They forget that a relationship with someone is a bigger gift.
They have never thanked you for being friends with them despite all odds.
If you are a connector, beware.
As your connect keeps growing in wisdom and realises your trend of abusing your access, you may be cut off.
Cut off in the sense that, you may never be taken seriously and that’s even worse.
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Crying wolf then won’t even help you.
As a receiver, I understand that sometimes you may not have the capacity to get what you want from the connection but it doesn’t stop you from being a person of value.
What are you bringing to the table? Don’t go about abusing your access.
Be grateful for your access and respect it at all times.
You may not know someone directly but if you know that someone you know has access to a connect, protect the channel.
You never know what life will throw at you and you will need that channel.
Knowing someone doesn’t mean the abuse of access.
Written by Joy Eneghalu