Have you been trying to get your ex back using some of the old supposedly tried and true methods of conflict resolution? Have you been attempting to getting your ex back by talking to him or being nice to him or even apologizing for your mistakes in your relationship and promising to change?
Or maybe there is another woman that has stolen your man from you and you have tried to show your ex that you love him more than any other woman could.
While all of these old methods for trying to get your partner back hold a thread of promise, there is often a missing ingredient that is essential to your success in getting your boyfriend or husband back.
This is not to say that all of the popular advice out there is necessarily wrong.
After all, if your boyfriend or husband has left you because you have some sort of glaring fault that needs to be changed or if there were communication issues in your relationship, these issues do need to be addressed before the relationship can really move forward.
But many times one partner will try to get the other to agree to get back together without considering the most important part of any and all relationships.
Taking some time after your breakup and reflecting back over what you did to contribute to the downfall of your relationship is a good use of your time.
But jumping the gun and thinking that making a few lifestyle changes right away is going to make your ex come running back to you is a mistake.
There is more to what is going on in your ex’s head than just what needs to change in you in order for them to agree to get back together with you.
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In addition, the test of time will tell whether you are sincere in your desire to change if these changes are something that actually need to be made.
After all, it could be that your ex was just using some character flaw that they knew about to initiate your breakup.
It could be that the true reason for your ex breaking up with you had nothing to do with the real reason why they broke up with you and thus, if you were hoping to get your lover back just by making a few changes you are going to be sadly disappointed.
Talking Things Through
While communication is an important part of any relationship, thinking that you can get your partner back just by talking things through is a mistake.
There will be time to talk and discuss wounds on both sides once you do get back together but trying to talk things through really isn’t the most effective way to try to get your ex back.
Think of it this way.
How many people enjoy talking about problems?
What kind of success do you think you’re going to find in bringing up all the problems that you had in your relationship?
Even if you think that you have solutions to all of those problems, discussing such an unpleasant subject is just going to resurrect the emotions that led to your breakup in the first place in your ex’s mind.
Talking things through will be necessary and important later on once you do get your ex lover but it should not be a beginning step that you use in hopes of luring your ex back to you.
Many women make this mistake and if you are thinking that you can get your ex back by flirting with him or getting him into a compromising position you might be in for more heartache than you might be able to handle.
I am sure that at the right time and given the right circumstances it would be very easy for you to lure your ex back but just think about it for a minute.
Do you really think that he will stay after a moment or a night of passion?
Trying to get your ex back by flirting with him in hope of making him feel something other than a momentary desire that is going to pass just as quickly will often make it more difficult in the long run to getting your ex back.
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Once he realizes that he has this weakness for you he will be even more hesitant to talk to you or want to spend time with you.
He might even swear off being around you at all and this might make getting him back even more difficult than it was before.
Even worse would be if he used you for one purpose and one purpose only and you do want a real relationship, right?
You don’t want him coming to you and then going home to his girlfriend, right?
The Key To Help You Get Your Ex Back
The most important yet often overlooked key to getting your ex back is that emotional bond that he used to have with you.
It is all about love.
Professionals might tout the use of conflict resolution through meeting with a counselor or talking together about the problems in your relationship but without some passion and desire in your ex’s heart you are never going to get him to be open minded about even talking about the possibility of getting back together and in the end you are not going to get your ex back.
The only way to get your ex back and make him want to resume your relationship is by making him feel something for you.
He needs to love you, desire you, want you and feel a strong connection with you before anything else will work.
There simply is no question that without motivation you will not get your lover back no matter how convincing your argument is for why the two of you should get back together.
It is like leading a horse to water.
You will never make him drink and without your ex being emotionally motivated you simply will not be able to get your lover back.